We’ve kept your hands busy for 4 years, think you could lend us one now?
Hello Fucking Sculptures friends and family! This is a long message. You will be our hero if you can please take the time to read all of it. If you’ve been following us for a few years, you may have noticed that we never have a Black Friday sale. It’s been our own small attempt at not participating in what is such a corporate holiday here in the United States.
This year, however, we’re going for it because we need your help.
Some of you have noticed that our website is broken. It’s all very technical, but basically the amazing, local business that runs our website has had a major crash and as a result people are unable to place orders through our website. This has been the case for almost a full month. As you can imagine, this is the worst possible timing for us and it’s impossible for us to say how many sales we’ve lost. As a small, artisan business, we rely on every, single sale to help keep us going.
Here’s What we Need
Can you support us now by making a Fucking Sculptures purchase this weekend? We are offering 40% off every Fucking Sculpture. In order to place your order you have to email us: email@example.com. We will send you a link to complete and pay for your order. What a pain in the butt, right? However, we know there’s a few of you out there that like a little pain with your pleasure. If you’ve been on the fence about getting a Fucking Sculpture- please make this the time! We are offering such a big discount to help make it worth the extra effort. And if you’ve ever read our reviews– then you know it’s worth it.
Thank you in advance for your support, both past and present. And if you want to be a SUPER FRIEND of Fucking Sculptures, please share this message with your social media and sexy time friends. We could never have made it this far without you. You are amazing. Thank you.
We also want to acknowledge that there are more important causes you could be giving your support to at this time such as STANDING ROCK, BLACK LIVES MATTER, PLANNED PARENTHOOD, and the NAACP. Please keep these causes in mind as well, and give what you can. Lastly, we realize the holidays can be a tough time in general, especially for those who can not be with their families for one reason or another. For those who are incarcerated, for our queer, trans, and gay friends, for those struggling with mental health, we hope you find the support you need during these and all times. Let’s be here for each other.